FATHERS AND THE OMUGWO TRAIN

To be frank, the Omugwo syndrome is a train that left fathers at the station a long time ago, with their wives waving ‘bye bye’ with glee.

The female folk believe that it is their right to travel all over the world or even within the country to take care of their daughters or daughters-in-law when they are delivered of babies. In fact, mothers swear that fathers do not like to travel hence Omugwo is a monopoly for women.

There may be some truth in this assertion only if Omugwo trips by mothers are solely to go teach the young nursing mothers how to give the babies their baths, feed them, cook delicious meals and generally look after the home in the early weeks after the birth of a baby by their daughters.

Which man would like to do all that anyway?

But Nigerian women have taken Omugwo to a different level. It is now a competition and a yardstick to measure which mother has arrived, especially if she has sons and daughters in different parts of the world.

Many of our mothers sometimes spend 9 months a year on the international Omugwo circuit, moving from France to Dubai, then Canada and back to Ireland where their children have relocated. The UK and USA are old destinations and it is not even news anymore to go to exotic places like Australia and Singapore for Omugwo. Lucky devils!

The women make sure they broadcast their movements within their circle of friends and family where the unlucky mothers whose children are home-based in Lagos, Port Harcourt and Abuja would brim with envy and feel luckless that they are not the ones enjoying the international ‘Omugwoism’.

In real sense, many of these women who go for Omugwo will privately tell you frankly how they suffer on those trips because they are more or less like house helps in their children’s homes abroad. Most Nigerian families abroad cannot afford helps or au pair so the cost of air ticket to Mama to come and help is a small price to pay.

I am told that the Omugwo practice was originally of Igbo tradition. But mothers or mothers-in-law from all parts of Nigeria have been involved in this practice and it is a big part of their custom. Yoruba, Edos, Ibibios, Tivs, Ijaws, Urhobos and other tribes have been practicing it from way back so it is not only among the Igbos.

It is obvious though, like in many other endeavours, the Igbos have taken it to a different level; hence the name ‘Omugwo’ which is of Igbo origin has assumed a brand of its own, but the the other tribes have their own names for it.

In all the euphoria about who will go on Omugwo, the poor fathers who picked up the sons and daughters growing up bills up to university and even past wedding days are left gnashing their teeth because their sweet daughters and sons don’t consider them worthy of even quasi Omugwo duties.

And the poor guys are even left ‘wifeless’ at a time in their lives when they really need the companionship of their wives who at the slightest hint of labour pains by daughters or daughters-in-law are already on the way to the airport.

Hmmm. This life is not fair – for us men!

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