A couple of weeks ago, I was in Benin City, and something unusual struck me. Everywhere I went — whether in Buba and Sokoto or jeans and t-shirt, trekking down the street or walking within church premises — I was greeted warmly by strangers. “Good morning sir,” “Good afternoon sir,” “Domo sir.” Young people, older adults, even children. They greeted me and went their way, without expectation of anything in return. Hear this – I flagged a bus, ‘along the road’ they always say; it stopped and the conductor told the young man sitting in the front passenger seat to yield his place to me and move to the back!
It was surprising because I cannot recall the last time I experienced such courtesy in Lagos, where one is more likely to be jostled off the road or hurried along with impatience. In Benin, however, the greetings felt natural, almost woven into the rhythm of daily life. All this in spite of some negative stories one had heard about Benin and how we have lost our custom and traditional values of respect for elders.
Was it me? My grey hair? Or was it simply the culture of the city? Some of those who greeted me looked older than I am, so it wasn’t just deference to age. It seemed more like a communal habit of politeness, a way of acknowledging another human being’s presence.
Interestingly, this kind of respect is not unique to Benin. In many African cultures, greetings are a deeply ingrained social ritual. In Yoruba land, for example, younger people were often known to kneel or prostrate to greet elders. In Northern Nigeria, respectful salutations are part of everyday interaction. Across the continent, from Ghana to Ethiopia, acknowledging others with courtesy is seen as a mark of good upbringing.
Beyond Africa, similar gestures exist. In parts of Europe, especially Mediterranean countries, older people are often treated with visible respect. Grey hair can mean wisdom, and it is not unusual to see younger passengers offering their seats on buses or trains. In North America too, while the culture may be more individualistic, there are still settings — airports, banks, public transport — where age attracts courtesy. People may hold doors open, give up seats, or offer assistance without being asked.
The experience in Benin left me both delighted and slightly uncomfortable. Should I have greeted them first? Was I too focused on minding my own business? It reminded me that respect and courtesy are not just about hierarchy — they are about connection.
In a world where impolite behaviour often dominates headlines, these small gestures of kindness and humanity stand out. They remind us that civility still exists, sometimes in unexpected places. And perhaps, they challenge us to carry a bit of that spirit back to our own cities and communities. So, hope is not lost with respect to our values, despite the fast pace of life, addiction to technology and individualism occasioned by the cares of the world.
